I haven’t been a parent long enough to have a style yet, but I know what I WANT it to be. I want to be a relaxed-but-involved mom.
I don’t want to be hyper-involved; crazy-sensitive to what others think. I want to let my daughter ride her bike without holding the handlebars, run with wild abandon in the backyard, climb trees in the park. I want my sweet girl to play little league and LOSE (once in a while). I think it will make her victory ice cream that much sweeter.
I want to be the kind of mom whose kids can tell her anything, whose kids KNOW that she’ll accept them for who they are and love them no matter what. I want to be the kind of mom whose kids don’t expect her to call the teacher when they get a bad grade and make it go away, but I’m definitely going to be the kind of mom whose kids KNOW she’ll be there for them when the going gets tough.
I think that being that kind of parent will help my daughter grow up well-adjusted and willing to take risks. So many young adults today are not willing to accept defeat, take a real risk, stick their neck out. Theirs were the helicopter parents. The hovering, call-the-principal-if-the-teacher-won’t-make-the-bad-grade-go-away kind that couldn’t stand to see their babies lose at little league.
Well, come on! Who CAN stand to watch their kid lose at little league? It’s gonna kill me, I know it. Those crocodile tears when they strike out for the zillionth time? My heart will break. But I want my kids to be strong in spirit. Resilient. Able to accept failure time and again, so that they can get to enjoy true success.
Hmmm…. to say this another way: I want my kids to be like Thomas Edison. Do you know how many times he tried to make a light bulb that didn’t suck? TEN THOUSAND TIMES. He failed 10,000 times before coming up with a winner. You think he could have handled that kind of defeat if his mom wouldn’t have let him fail as a child?
SO, here’s the question – how do you manage to let your kids fail when it breaks your heart to do it? How do you stay involved without getting over-involved? Share!!!